if more people watched the sun rise or set, there would be less problems, and more awe and amazement in this world. ..
Thinking about...
... bullies of all sorts and how they are turned.
... how much can be said in silence.
... how much pain can be wrought in words.
... the unhealthy obsession our world has with never quitting.
... the wisdom of letting go of that which no longer serves; growing focus with age.
... sunrises, sunsets and the missed value they have in this world; how spectacular these events are made in Africa.
... dreams, desires and plans, how they change as we change.
... awareness, purpose and a simple life.
... peace, grace and how I live those principles I chose.
... having 2 kids, less time, more love and never ever resenting them for being who they truly are.
... seeing the one that is already physically here and realising that at least in our first practice round, we have been able to keep this promise beautifully; she shines the most beautiful self from her deepest heart.
... happiness and the choices we make to get there.
Yeah, most of these happened in one day. I never realised how much stuff I think about when until I penned it down. Some of it. Of course, there was always the hint of how much I think, given how much of those thoughts actually spew forth out of my mouth ;)
~ I am content; content even in my busy mind ~
this is apparently how we dress in order to retrieve our ball from underneath the trampoline... the shoes, i suppose make sense, given the early morning wet grass, but the hat and mittens are for reasons only a 4 year old can digest... read very little in the expressive way she dresses, but see her shine from her smile.
Thus far in my life, I have done my very best to raise a child that will be part of the ripples towards a better world. I aim to raise conscious and aware little beings, who will do better than what society dictates. And towards that end, this book has been priceless. As have several others, but for now, lets focus on this one. Here is a quote to summarise what I gained and why I loved this book so much"
"But we must not forget that even the worst terrorist, tyrant, or polluter was once a child... The future of our planet depends on who our children become as adults, and it is our responsibility to teach and share with them awareness of the divine intelligence that is the source and sustainer of all life... The souls of our children are the potential for tomorrow's world. Our earth is not just a capricious anomaly in the vast sea of space, but a cosmic manifestation of divine intelligence. Through leaps of imagination, it will continue to express itself as new realities. Our job as parents is not to interfere with this creative process, but to align with it by nurturing our children in body, mind, and spirit. The great poet Tagore once said, " every child that is born is proof that God has not yet given up on human beings". We ask you to join us and with God to help create a world of peace, harmony, laughter, and love that is worthy of our beloved children."
Being pregnant for the 2nd time, I actually got to read this book in time. With our first pregnancy I received the book as a gift form my mother rather late, but being with a good midwife, I found most of these things in place already. This time I found that most of the recommendation were already a big part of our lives: Journalling, Yoga, Meditation, etc. and especially towards the end, I found myself just skimming through the information. Despite this, there was still a lot that I had forgotten and which I was able to incorporate into our journey. Towards the end of the book I found that most of the subjects are concerned with things that might be required after the baby is born. These subjects I have mentally referenced, and will return to them as required.
As usual, Mr. Chopra has one foot in the physical and one foot in the spiritual, making his book very practical, although he does have a very scientific way of writing and this is not to everyone's liking. For me, this book is a very good combination of practical advice, a summarizing of your baby's stages and development, as well as how to improve and connect with your pregnancy. As per any other book written by Deepak Chopra, the book contains a large amount of Ayuverdic principles and holistic healing methods. What I found most valuable is that it wasn't just about the spiritual aspects, or just about the most basic physical aspects, or just about your exercises, etc. but rather a real treasure of all things combined. This is something that I have found missing in most pregnancy books, being either or, but very rarely both. Having said that, be aware that some subjects are just touched upon and should you need to, you might need to read up a bit more, but it is a good starting point to at least gain awareness of all aspects of your pregnancy.
I was quite impressed with the amount of data in this book, even moe so than the first time I read it, although as I've mentioned, some of the subjects were barely touched upon. This book does however provide a very good basis for anyone to start with if a holistic journey is what you are aiming for. As a whole, this book is a real treasure trove of information for all things related to a holistic and healthy pregnancy. It is one of those books that you will most likely find yourself constantly returning to during your pregnancy, as well as during the first few weeks of baby's arrival.
I would advise any pregnant woman, or anyone thinking about becoming pregnant to read this book as soon as they can.
Yeah! I finally got my new MacBook sorted. Ok, so it is not exactly new...
Let's see where does this story start...
I have desired a MAC for some time now, even tried to source one from some discontinued stock in a store that we bought a couple of years back, but no go. But heart's desires are always heard by those who listen to us, and when hubby's company got a couple of MacBooks, he was able to source one for me.
Yay! And thank you Sparky for paying attention and remembering.
When I opened it up, I realised why Apple is focused on design. In fact, I think my exact words were: 'She's so pretty!'.
Things were not all smooth sailing though. After years of working on a PC, I found MAC to be a little hard to navigate: Within a few days, I had lost my music, messed up the desktop and the storage of all my files. I found the programs awkward and non of the shortcuts that I knew so well worked the way they were suppose to.
In short, I messed it up big time. And because everything was so messed up and the work to be done loomed like an unclimable mountain in front of me, I simply put her on the dining room table, telling myself I would get to her soon as I could, and then doing my best to avoid her at all cost. For almost a year now, I have been unable to sync my ipod do upload all the wonderful meditations and music I had.
In the meantime, she has been lying around waiting for me to put her back the way she is meant to be. It has taken me more than a year to get to that point, but it is done now:
Itunes and Music - sorted
Chrome - downloaded and sorted (I love that I have a profile that loads all my links and favs from my pc to my MAC)
Pictures - copied into correct folders and excess deleted
Doc - corrected and up to date
It sounds so little when mentioned like this, but it was a huge job, made even larger by the fact that my portable hard drive could not be copied to or edited by my MAC because it is incorrectly formatted (says Sparky - I think she made me do all this work in order for me to appreciate her this time around).
Still trying to work out a few things, and it helped that my cousin's girlfriend works for Apple and gave me a few pointers. Or rather, answered my questions about where certain things were on my MAC. Ok. It might've been a small hissyfit about why my MAC had no delete button (found it, by the way).
All in all, this has taken up my whole weekend, but I now have a personal machine that I can work on when I get home. It makes for good motivation to have an organised machine calling your name the whole time. Spending an hour or two on my new baby every afternoon will be a pleasure. Now.
I think I will call her Evie. I think we will be good friends and that lots of bonding may yet be done over my writing and her keeping it safe for me.
I foresee many hours of happiness for us, especially once I can get back to drinking coffee and green tea again... Bliss comes in small packages; I accept it when it arrives.
At this moment, we are 13 weeks pregnant. Which is much of the reason I have not been around to post in this last month: I have just been plagued by near constant tiredness. Not that there is much space for this in the Western World mind you; Pregnant women just need to cope as well as their colleagues and that is the gist of it. I just don't think that people really accept what a woman goes through during a pregnancy, mentally and physically. Not that we have a hard pregnancy. Oh no! What some women go through is horrid, and adds nothing to the experience (but each child has something to teach and it starts very early on).
We might not have it as hard as others, but although being pregnant is a wonderful event, it is most definitely not the easiest one for a woman to go through. Although I know some women just see children as something that needs to be done and scheduled, pregnancy being the bit of a bother before they get to pass on their genes to the world, but that's not us - bringing a child into the world is not just something you have too or should do; it is a huge choice and one that I believe is well worth the effort, but also well worth the forethought. Oh well, the tiredness and nausea, both of which I had nothing of during the expectancy of Guppy, lead to many naps in a the afternoon, a general inability to focus on anything, a desire to eat everything and loss of desire to do anything constructive. Including blogging.
But I am back. Not less tired, but at least coping better with it. Slightly. What I have decided to do and which seem to work fairly well, is to set some routines, stuff to get to, with loads of open space when resting can be done if required.
With Guppy we had a midwife, and with Peanut (named by my friend and no, we do not yet know the gender of the baby) it will be no different. We will be seeing much less of the doctors this time, going for less scans, etc. You get to be a little bit more informed with the second one, that's for sure. One of the wonderful privileges of seeing a midwife is that she makes you think (and by think, I do mean write, as in homework) about various things that may come up, so you get to work through all the stuff that you need to and when the time comes you are prepared and thus, life becomes a little simple.
So here is a list of things that we need to think about:
If this is a boy, how will he be raised differently than Guppy, if at all?
If this is a girl, how will we make sure that she doesn't feel like a number 2 child? How do we ensure that she feels like a 2nd #1?
How do we each plan to make time to spend with each child, with each other and as a family?
What is our perfect birthing experience? Creepily enough, Guppy was born exactly according to our previous idea, so do not underestimate the power of knowing what it is you want. Our midwife re-read this piece to us on our first meeting.
What is the worst?
What to do if this child decides to teach us about C-Section, or anything else that might be harder than the perfect birth we had with Guppy?
So you see, you think, you learn, you prepare, so that when life takes a spinner on you, you don't suddenly come crashing in around the new life that needs you to not crash.
Much of my thoughts during this time has centered around parenting 2 children. It is already hard to connect to the one that is inside, because the one on the outside is physically there and life is busy already. What you don't want is to spoil your children, but you do want them to never feel like one is standing in the other's shadow. There have been times when the thought has crossed my mind that this is why some people only have one child...
This is what we know for sure:
Children should be free to lead their own lives, to be who they are and to do and become who and what they truly are.
Children should be loved under all conditions; And it is not enough that you love them, you have to make sure they never doubt your love.
Children are not there for you to live life, to take over what you need them to or to extend your morality. Children are a products of love and life's longing to express itself in whatever form it chooses. They come from God, The Universe, the Oversoul. Your claim to them is minimal.
The fact that you are their parent does not guarantee a relationship with them. To have a relationship with a child, you have to put in the effort to know them, to talk to them and to listen to them (the last being the most important, just for in case the italics and the boldness did not clear that up). You have to be there for them. Don't get me wrong, family will always be bound to each other, but there is a difference between linked through blood and being there because of a love that evolved past the parent-child requirements.
Which brings me to Kurt's Dad. For those who don't know, or forgot, I am a Gleek (Geek + Glee) - love the show! seriously, it is a musical for an hour every week! On Glee, there is a guy named Kurt and he happens to be gay. As in super. He also happens to have a father who is a mechanic by profession, who knew this from the time when Kurt was about 3 and asked for a pair of sensible heals for his birthday; who made peace with the fact that whatever his ideas had been for his only son, some of it would never be. And loves him just as much. Which is enough to do this for him:
Some history: The scene is interspersed with scenes of Kurt doing the scene (from the first season) before he had come out of the closet, and his dad caught him doing the song. Anyway, look it up if you feel like it.
Ok. Yes, I am fully aware of the fact that this is a television show and life hardly ever gives us such awesome performances from our parents, BUT the inspiration remains: I want to love my children this much, I want to work this hard at having a real relationship with my children. I want to have fun with them, I want to know what they really love, who they really are and I want to have the strength to let them go their own way one day. I already know that I have the wisdom to know that I have no idea what is best for my child beyond the general guidelines to provide her with a fit body and mind one day when she is 150 years old, and love; Other than that, I need to follow her lead for much of the time.
Here is the moment where Kurt's dad becomes really awesome though:
So Kurt applied to NYADA (New York Academy of Dramatic Arts) and did not get in. But then Rachel asks him to come to New York anyway, to get a job and re-apply next year. So his dad takes him to the airport, and this is the conversation:
Burt: You scared?
Kurt: Terrified.
B: New York is going to be a breeze compared to Lima. Think of all the crap you've been putting up with the last couple of years.
You know the difference between this place and New York?
K: Decent Bagels?
B: New York is filled with people like you. People who aren't afraid to be different. You're gonna feel at home there. If you're not scared, it just means you're not sticking out your neck far enough.
K: You truly are the world's greatest dad.
B: I know. It's written on the coffee mug you got me for father's day. Now get outta here, you're gonna miss your flight.
K: I'll miss you dad.
B: You can always come back. (softly) But you won't.
K: I love you.
B: I love you too Kurt.
So yes, it is a television show, but here is what I take from that (because I take inspiration anywhere I find it, and I believe that sometimes, God even uses Glee to speak to us):
I want to give my children the space to make their own life, their own experiences and find their own way.
I want to raise them to know who and what they are, because I never had that and it took me this long to find it.
I want to remember to tell them how proud I am of them when they stand strong in who they are, even if that means they are standing against me.
I want to raise them to trust themselves, and to have the confidence to make scary choices. I want to trust them just as much, if not more.
I want to give them the space to go out, learn, experience and to provide them with the knowledge and the safety that they can always come back if they need to.
I want them to be confident in who they are, even if it does bring out some crap.
I will tell them often that I am proud of them, no matter how small the feat, because they need to know that someone is on their side, supporting who they are.
I want to keep all the little presents that they ever give me, and let them know that I do, so that they remember how much I treasure them.
I want us to be able to say I love you all the time and for it to mean the world each time we do.
I want us to hug often.
I want to know what they go through. I want them to talk to me.
I want to let them go, because they need to be let go off, knowing that they are great enough, and that I have done good enough for them to be whatever it is they feel the need to be.
Some great expectations, I know. And it takes a lot of work. We all make our own choices, we all have our lessons to learn and we all decide what is most important to us. For me, that is my family - Sparky, Sparkplug (aka Guppy) and Peanut. Taking full responsibility for the lives we decided to bring into this world together means creating the safest and most loving space ever, at least for me it does. Everything else they can learn outside of our home. Inside it, they will learn only love.
So those that know me, know that I don't realty do New Year's resolutions. I think they are depressing. I also think that they bring about a lot of guilt to a society that is so ready to accept the heavy weight that guilt brings. So I don't do them.
But of course I do something.
Personally, I like to look back on each year that has passed, to see how far I have come and to take note of the areas that I still want to work on. Then, rather than setting up a whole list of things to do, I simply become aware of the those areas that need work during the next year and take baby steps in relevant ways to either change or grow in those areas. I feel proud and strong in those areas where I have grown even just slightly, but I always remind myself to stay humble and fully aware that I don't know it all yet. Note: yet :)
So for this last day of 2012, the following things have made me proud, happy and a little wiser... This is my happy list for 2012:
1. The very first item has to be my Yoga Teacher Certification. I won't babble on about it; You may read the link if you are so inclined.
2. Rock of Ages and MI4: Ghost Protocol: What can I say? I am a Tom Cruise fan. MI4 was great, but in Rock of Ages, it is Tom Cruise doing Bon Jovi... What more can I ask for in a year?
3. Pinterest: Love this site! It's keeps clutter out of my home and in the virtual world. I have attempted several projects, and had only successes thus far. It has also been a great source of inspiration for advanced yoga postures and some different routines.
4. My Veggie Garden with seedling supplied from Earth Sanctuary: I finally had a chance to set up our vegetable garden. We had such a wonderful harvest of peaches this year, that I just had to get it done. Of course, since we planted the seedlings, we have had the most wonderful rainy days, which some of those seedlings will love, and others not so much. But we will have to see who makes it and who doesn't. And then try again.
5. The 365 days without yelling challenge: Ok, so I failed miserably at this one. Apparently, I can't go 2 days without yelling. And that's bad. But the good thing is that I know this, and that I have become aware of it. Not just in the "I yelled" type of awareness, but in the moment of yelling, knowing that I am doing it, and seeing if I can change it from there on. I have also apologised so much for this particular bad behaviour. Another good thing is that there have been several times when I have stopped myself form yelling and dealt with an issue in a more productive way. So here's to holding thumbs that 2013 will be a year (largely) without yelling.
It is hard to change the habits that we grow up with, but knowing that we can change whatever doesn't serve us, is one of the most profound gifts of life. And change only comes from hard work, and we don't always get it right all in one go. But at least we're doing it!
6. Vegan Challenge for November: Love this for all the knowledge it brought, as well as the fact that I largely succeeded. This is a hard challenge to uphold in my society, BUT I give it my best shot. There are times when the choices really are hunger or cheese sandwiches, and we make due with what we get. And that's ok. It is about awareness once again. As well as not being to die hard about it all. I am a terrible person when I am hungry (or tired) so if I have to eat some cheese to remain a nice person, then that is what I do.
7. 2 21-day Meditation Challenges from the Chopra Center: The first on Love, the second on Abundance. I love these challenges for their simplicity and their persistence. They keep bringing the most wonderful meditations to you in the hopes that as many people as possible will create the highly beneficial habit of meditating.
Along with the Chopra Meditation Challenge, I would just like to mention HeadSpace: This wonderful app helps you to set the intention of stillness for just 10 minutes a day. It helps you to become aware of your thoughts, without becoming engaged in them, so that you remain in control of your actions. Simple and very effective.
8. I challenged myself to read 30 books this year, and this far, I have read 27, going on 28. It's a lot more than I thought I would get through, and it is not yet impossible to reach the goal of 30.
On this note, another big thing for me in 2012, was that Terry Pratchett brought out 4 new books (Snuff (read), The World of Poo (busy reading to Guppy), Dodger (got for Christmas) and The Long Earth (read)). Really loved this part of my reading life.
9. I got to work half day. Kinda. Working until 2.15 each day now. This gives me more time with Guppy without having to give up my yoga classes that I teach.
10. I got a Kindle (the one with the wi-fi and the touch screen). Yay! It took me forever to make this step; I always figured I would never be able to adjust as I really love actual books so much. But it was the easiest thing in the world. I absolutely love it. We have already insured it, for in case something happens and I have already read nearly 3 books on it. I was also able to get a hemp and fake leather insert cover for it, in order to make sure it is protected.
There are always going to be books that I will buy in paper format, like Terry Pratchett, which I collect, and my yoga reference books (although I think I have enough now), but the rest of my books that I love and would like to keep, I am going to repurchase in Kindle format, and then donate the actual books to the reading program by our long distance University, UNISA's Books Behind Bars. That way they will definitely serve a better purpose than being cooped up in my library.
So that is my happy list for 2012. The big stuff in any case. There were minor little things as well: Unexpected hallo's; People making an effort to change a little; Guppy becoming clever and smarter with each passing day...
2012 was a blessed year, not without its battles and hardships, but each one so worthwhile. I can't wait to see 2013!
Travel Safe. Be Blessed. Good Journey. Live in LOVE.
.JPG)
