Being a mother is a sacred gift and a gift that changes every single day as well. I always knew what I would be letting myself in for when becoming a mother, but the eventual intensity of the role that I chose to play was a huge surprise. However, I welcomed it with open arms simply because it was my choice.
The role of motherhood is not something that can be explained. No child comes with a manual and it changes every day as your child does. I realised that with each and every day that passes, my little girl needs me slightly less as she becomes stronger and more able. This is what every parent wants of course, but it is also a little sad whenever I reflect. Once I realised this of course, I also realised that it was up to me to make every minute count, regardless of whether is was changing nappies or cleaning up the throw up, or picking up the toys or getting little hugs and kisses and hearing her say mama when she needs me (more like mamamama - she knows how to say mama, just not how to stop yet*).
With each action I was teaching my little girl how to react to the world and this meant that each action needed to be a conscious decission based on what I wanted to teach her, instead of simply raising her because of how I was raised. I had to make choices that would serve us best in the long run, instead of making things easy NOW and having to face up to these shortcuts in the future.
I absolutely loved being pregnant right up till the last minute and never wished for it to be over, only that I wanted to see her. I chose to have a normal birth. There were no drugs, no lying on my back and, thanks to our midwife and her wonderful preparation exercises, no tearing or cutting required. She was born quickly, with her amniotic sac still in tact (magical baby*) on her birthday as she chose it. She was born in a private room with NO interference. We originally decided to have a home birth, but a slight complication made our trip to the hospital necessary.
I choose to bond with my child now as much as she requires me to. There will come a time soon enough when she will no longer need me that much. I love my husband and we love our little girl. We know that in about 20 years or less, the relationship with our child will have changed completely and we will no longer be the mother / father we are required to be now, but rather a confidant and friend.
And so we make the most of the role we get to play NOW. We embrace the gift that we have been given NOW. And we say thank you for this seemingly fleeting gift that will remain a part of our hearts and will change who we are forever.
Years ago I made the decission that I would like to be a mother one day. This decission was not based on what society said I should do, or it being the next logical step (the decission of having a baby being anything but logical) or because I was feeling my biological clock ticking.
No.
This was as simple as choosing that I would enjoy having this experience in my life and that I would wait patiently for the little soul that was destined to fall under my wing when things were as they should be. There was even a period in between when I decided that I did not want to have children, keeping the right to change my mind at all time, which I eventually did... again.
When I finally took the step towards being a mother, I knew what kind of mother I wanted to be and would be. I had known forever. I have motherhood ingrained on the cells of my soul. I also felt our little girl's soul hovering for quite some time before she finally came to be. When we finally decided to have our little baby, I was ready and I embraced it with everything that my heart had always desired this to be for me.
She was sent to us for this reason. For how we choose to be parents and for what this would mean for her life, as well as ours. She chose use as much as we chose her. And it is up to each of us to enjoy every single precious changing minute that is allowed for us.
Each parent is allowed the right to make their parenting choice in this life. Each parent makes different choices, but still their own. Make it count and make it your own. Don't make decissions out of fear or ancient ways. Make a decission based on what is best for your child and you will be the best partent that you were meant to be.
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