stress advice for the fairer sex

In this world of ours, stress seems to be the major cause of disease, unhappiness, nervous conditions, etc.  Regardless of the fact that both men and women suffer from stress, I don't think we tend to stress about the same things. 

Agree or disagree, for today I want to give women five suggestions to reduce their stress levels:

One, don't ever think you are without power. Whether it is your mother in law, your family, the shop assistant or the teller in the bank, women are often still held to be weaker than men, and therefore taken advantage of.  Never believe that you have to be anything other than what you are. Having said this, make sure that you can handle your own as well.  Take back your power: Have your own bank account; Work late if you want that advancement; Know your financial portfolio as well as that of your husband; Learn how to negotiate (says the one who refuses to do so ;p)...  Be the source of power by making sure that when someone does try to make you feel inferior, or take advantage of you, you know who you are and what your needs are. 

Two, demand validation for your work. If you feel you are not being appreciated, or if someone is constantly taking credit for your work, take steps to rectify the situation, or evaluate your professional situation.  Talented, hard-working people are much in demand and everyone needs to be appreciated for something that they spend most of their daylight hours on.

Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network.  Figure out ways to be economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him to take a hike.  If you do work for your own salary, make sure that you get as much say over the spending of your household bills as anyone else. 

Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an exam, and you frankly can't score 100%. It is okay if you don't make four dishes for lunch, stomachs be filled with one. It is okay if you don't work until midnight or if don't get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.  Having said this, it is very important to know what your priorities are, what is most important to you.  Then to make peace with that, and never taking it personally when someone berates you for what you do, as long as you are happy with it as an expression of who you are. 

Five, most important, don't get competitive with other women. Someone will make a better scrapbook for their school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbor may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don't - big deal. Do your best, but don't keep looking out for the report card, and definitely don't expect to be at the top of every class. There is no ideal woman in this world, at least not by society's validation and definition, and if you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve for certain - stress.

So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best and that you deserve a peaceful life. And if someone tries to take that away from you, realise that you are not at fault.  Re-affirm what you know, what you want, and what your priorities are, and also, that these differ from woman to woman.  Your purpose of coming to this earth is not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the world, and have a good life in return.

~  based on an email I received last week.